Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize