So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize