I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
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