arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
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you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
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How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
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