Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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