Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
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He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
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I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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