a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize