I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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