My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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