he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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