So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
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