help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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