Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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