I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
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if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
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We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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