he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
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Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
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You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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