just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
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