Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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