Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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