I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize