I swear she didn't look like that last week.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just blew my weed a kiss
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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