tell your sister to shave her snatch
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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