Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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