I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
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I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
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Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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