So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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