Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
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