a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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