Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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