Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
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Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
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I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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