carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
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I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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