Swine flu is the new snow day.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize