Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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