I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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