you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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