did you get engaged???
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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