I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
We named our party play list daddy issues
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
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you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
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