I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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