I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize