____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize