it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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