then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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