she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize