the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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