More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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