Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
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