Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize