North Korea, Best Korea!
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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