Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
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He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
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BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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