She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
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