You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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