And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize